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You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About
Learning to Practice Right Speech
“ Right Speech means that if we are not aware-as normally we are not-then we don’t know what we are saying or doing. Inadvertently, we indulge in all kinds of negative forms of speech such as lying, backbiting, haughty speech, and gossip. It is important to become aware of our speech, because what we say and how we say it have a direct influence on the kind of person we become. If we are always using harsh words, then we naturally become very aggressive. “
We are generally unaware of life outside our own “bubble.” Seeing the world only through the lens of our own life experience, and offering our advice under the assumption of “ I did it, so can you,” can lead to feelings of resignation ( “I don’t know why I even try!”) and simmering anger for both the giver and receiver of said advice.
True connection with others can only be achieved if we set aside our own opinions and judgements, and learn to really listen to others. And, after listening (not simply hearing, but really listening), we may find that we need to ask some questions before pushing our “helpful” suggestions on others.
Some examples of “unskillful speech” (in contrast to Right Speech) heard in conversations at a family reunion:
- Teenager: I got a job as a…
