Thanks for sharing this part of your story. Glad that you are healing. I had a tough childhood also, and I often think that my sister and I are so extremely different because our coping mechanisms were so different. Part of my healing has been asking myself what could have happened to my parents to make them do some of the cruel things that they did. It's okay if I never know, it's more about learning to have compassion for them instead of hatred. Letting go of that hatred has been a huge part of my own healing. And, I understand the constant anxiety and hyper-vigilance. It's exhausting. Happy New Year, my friend.