Sounds like my OCD symptoms -- fear of inadvertently harming another person and rumination. I am so sorry for your childhood experiences--telling a child that they have committed sins of pride and blasphemy is cruel. I was fortunate in that I had a psychiatrist who explained OCD to me when I was still in my early teens. I hope you can find a good therapist that can provide you with some behavioral techniques that will help you to cope with these symptoms. My kindest wishes are flowing your way!