Member-only story
It’s Okay to Feel that Something Isn’t Right
Trusting your gut
It is 2009. I am newly separated, and still reeling from my husband’s betrayal. I am feeling the relief of being alone, but also the vulnerability of being alone. I am doing my best to cope, with the help of a great psychiatrist and the love of a new puppy.
My puppy and I become regulars at the dog park, where I feel safe and anonymous. The dogs are stealing the show, and that is where I want to be right now — among others, but with a focus on my dog, not me. The dog park people introduce themselves and their dogs with first names only.
Back at home, my doorbell rings. I open the door to a florist delivering 2 dozen long-stem roses. A card is included, minus the name of the giver. The card indicates that the giver “wants to know me better.”
I feel sick inside. I feel that my safe place, my home, has been invaded. So, I call some friends, and their reactions are unexpected: “You must have made quite an impression on someone!” “You are so lucky!” “Two dozen roses — he must have money!” Not one of my female friends shares my concern about this excessive, anonymous “gift”.
I had been married for nearly 20 years, and had no idea what the current dating world looked like, and I could not understand this reaction; that they thought this was…
