It's clear that you put so much thought into this, and that you are striving to do what is best. That's a good thing, indeed. Very few white people ever put themselves in situations where they are in the minority (people tend to socialize within their "bubble"), and they are oblivious to what it actually feels like to be in a space where they aren't the in majority. Or they enter spaces where they are not in the majority, and somehow view themselves as "helpers", as though their presence is regarded as some kind of honor. So many white people don't know how to just be a part of things, to just listen and not put in their 2 cents worth.