I'm glad you are healing. I had 2 narcissistic parents. No acceptance, only criticism. Dad believed he owned the Truth, that his way was the only way, that his children should be reflections of him. When I divorced my husband of 20 years (he was cheating on me with an 18-year-old), my father was angry at me. He told me that I had ruined his record, as he was the only one of his siblings that didn't have a child who was divorced. That is what he cared about, and he never forgave me for divorcing my cheating, abusive husband. Mom thought of herself first. As I child, I would confide my problems to her, and she would answer, "You think I don't have problems, too?" I've finally learned to set boundaries, but, like you, I grieve for what never was.