If You Don’t Know Yourself, You Can’t Understand Others
Looking inside ourselves for solutions
Each of us, born with a specific DNA pattern and then shaped by our environment and life’s circumstances, has our own unique view of the world. In the words of Anaïs Nin:
“We see the world as ‘we’ are, not as ‘it’ is; because it is the “I” behind the ‘eye’ that does the seeing.”
This is something that I often have to remind myself of. When exasperated by what I consider the inexcusable behavior of another person, I’ll find myself muttering under my breath expletives about the offending party’s stupidity, arrogance, selfishness . . . (fill in the blank).
How can anyone think like that!!?? Assholes!
But all my anger does nothing to cause change in anyone else. Because real change comes from within. We can yell, punish, or state our opinions more forcefully, which may result in temporary (but false) change in others, or we can take a different approach.
One of my favorite books is Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People by Mark I. Rosen, PhD. Notice the title is “spiritual” not “religious” guidance. This book is not preachy.
