I feel that I understand. I achieved the ability to only look in the mirror to brush my teeth, wash my face, etc. I have never felt attractive, but I have made YouTube videos, pushing my boundaries. I can never remember a time when I looked in the mirror, and thought, "I look good.". I cringe instead. I had tons of criticism from my parents and my sister growing up, and it did lasting damage. My husband tells me that I am beautiful, yet I still have doubts.