Are You Stuck in the Blame Game?

Who’s at fault is only part of the solution

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

We have all heard the chorus of, “Don’t blame me, I didn’t do it” many times in this game we call life. No one ever wants to own the blame and the shame. We humans do all we can to protect our fragile egos from feeling pain. We will defend our actions, we will call out others who “made us do it” and who “pushed our buttons”, we will blame our parents, our workplace, our society for making us into the people that we have become.

We will do anything that is less painful than self-reflection.

Of course, the way we were parented, the culture we grew up in, our toxic environments affect all of us. There are many things outside of our control. Evil has been perpetrated on many of us, abuses that are difficult to even talk about. Those who read my articles know that my path has not been an easy one. I have great compassion for those who suffer.

Things that were beyond our control provide the reasons for our current behaviors. But a reason is not the same thing as an excuse. If change is hoped for, we must acknowledge that while our past has formed us, it does not have to continue to control us. We can get beyond the stage of “don’t blame me, it wasn’t my fault,” to the stage of “yes, it wasn't my fault, but I am an adult now and I can change.”