Member-only story
Ancestry, Culture, and Connection
Where do I fit in?
I sat with a small group of women in the yoga teacher training class. We were taking turns giving our answers to the prompt, “Describe yourself.”
The answers came as “mother”, “daughter”, “sister”, “student”, “Asian”, “wife”, “nurse.” These answers from the others flowed easily, without any pause to think first. I sat nervously awaiting my turn, as I couldn’t seem to come up with an answer to describe me.
Recently divorced, the description of “wife” was not applicable. My relationships with my parents and sister were not especially close; I did not feel a strong sense of “daughter” or “sister.” At that moment, the love of my dog was the only thing filling the space in my heart. So, I answered, “Dog Mom,” when my turn came.
The instructor and the other class members tsk-tsked in disapproval at what they interpreted as snark. I immediately felt a lack of connection with the others sharing this space. That feeling was a familiar one; I have always felt like an outsider.
Thinking back to childhood, I remember my friends’ identifying with their ancestry. They were “Armenian”, “Jewish”, “Irish”, “Portuguese”, or “Italian.” My maternal grandparents immigrated from Portugal, the paternal side from Ireland. I loved them, and I appreciated the music, dance, and…
